The idea for this post comes not from my own strange mind, but from that of Mike, writer of The Zebra Clan. A few weeks ago he wrote a post consisting of the weird and random thoughts he has late at night. I’m not writing this late at night, or even close – it’s only 5:30. But I so wanted to try this out because I want to know what craziness I’ll end up with. To quote Mike, “Anyway, I decided that I’m going to record my random thoughts and post whatever I write down, no matter how weird it ends up being.” No editing, just weirdness. Bring it on!
This feels weird.
I wonder what’s in that closet.
Random thoughts of a barely awake guy. Hmm.
I wonder where the grill is. Why did I just think this?!
What is a heavensbee?
Whoa, I just messed up the size of the computer screen. What did I do?
I got J.K Rowling’s new book, The Casual Vacancy, at the library today! I think I’ll listen to the Harry Potter film scores while I read it.
Ooh, I think we’re having bread for dinner. Although I think we had it last night too.
I like my feet.
When I become evil, I’m going to rename myself Sneeze.
Man, now I can’t think of anything!
Why do British people call it an exclamation mark? The point of the exclamation is the best part.
I’m so short that when I walk, my feet don’t touch the ground.
Ooh, a Post-It note! I shall stick it to my forehead!
I get the feeling I’m going to look at this post later and wonder what I was thinking.
When turtlenecks are made, what happens to the poor turtles who now have no necks? Are their heads just reattached directly to their bodies?
I’ve seen some people who look like those turtles. Are there humanneck shirts?
At work today, I pretended that little cups and other things were talking to each other. The waitresses seemed to think I was strange.
Is there a job that requires you to be six at heart?
If there isn’t, I’m going to be sad.
I swear Mitt Romney’s hair isn’t real hair. It must be some sort of statue or something. It never changes. And how does he get it to stick up like that?
I wonder if I should send President Obama an email with the link to my Presidential Election Hunger Games blog post. Would he like it? Would he run away screaming?
Let’s see. Who would be good commentators for the Hunger Games? Bill Bryson. My mom. My cat. Myself. James May! Hey, I’ve got an idea. What about Suzanne Collins?
My brother tells me I mispronounce the name Suzanne. Shortly afterwards, my mom looked at me and said, “Wow, I read the first two Hunger Games books and totally didn’t realize that Peeta bread and pita bread sound the same!” Yes, these are the people I live with.
Sometimes I pretend I can erase things with my fingers!
Oh, wait. That’s called holding down the delete key.
El chico es Peeta Mellark. Lord Voldemort tiene sed. These are the things I write on my Spanish quizzes when I have to make up sentences. I wonder what my professor thinks. Then again, maybe he doesn’t think it’s weird because when he was teaching us how to ask for directions in Spanish, he forgot which hand was his left and which was his right.
Bob Marley! No woman, no cry! No Bob Marley, no cry! Wait a minute. That’s not right. No Bob Marley, lots of crying. Sorry, I just changed music on YouTube.
I love doing this. I should write posts like this all the time. Actually, maybe I shouldn’t because I’ll scare my readers.
Can chickens have dreadlocks?
Breadlocks! Those would be cool!
I wonder who invented underwear. I think I read a whole book about this subject once, but I’ve forgotten what it said.
If Voldemort really is so powerful, why didn’t he demand plastic surgery for his nose?
If Voldemort were an elephant, he would look strange because he would be missing his trunk.
If Voldemort were a girl, his name would be Tina.
I like purple Sharpies the most. They smell wonderful.
No Dark Lord, no cry! No Gamemaker, no cry! No Primrose Everdeen, no cry! Prim was an annoying little whiney crybaby. Good riddance.
Did that make me seem heartless?
I laughed when Winnie-the-Pooh died.
Just kidding! I don’t think he ever died.
Can a cat have a comb-over?
Wow, that was weird! It was a lot of fun, though. I will probably look at this in just a little while and wonder what the heck I was thinking. Thanks for the idea, Mike!