A Letter To The Librarians

To whom it may concern:

You probably know me as that girl who wobbles around with armloads of books, accidentally dropping them on little kids when she wanders into the children’s section. When I was about five, I wrote an essay for school about how I wanted so much to be a librarian. OK, maybe I shouldn’t call it an essay – but hey, when you’re five, writing ten sentences is hard work! I don’t want to be a librarian anymore unless it’s something I do when I’m an old lady (in between being the next J.K. Rowling, of course) but you guys are awesome. Here are some things I would like to tell you.

1. I appreciate that you don’t laugh at me (too much) when I check out a three-foot stack of picture books.

2. Can you tell that mean-looking old lady librarian with the pointy eyebrows to lay off, already? Every time I get a book she glares at me like I’ve just ripped its covers off and licked the pages, which I assure you I have NOT.

3. The room for YA fiction is great; thank you. I love those cool posters of the Harry Potter actors holding books.

4. I see that the library’s website was updated. It looks nice and there’s even character information for each book, but who on Earth wrote that? It’s making me giggle.

From the page for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: “Harry Potter (Male), Student, Has magical powers; attending a wizard school; training to be a wizard. Ron Weasley (Boy), Student, Attending a wizard school; training to be a wizard. Hermione Granger (Girl), Student, Attending a wizard school; training to be a wizard.” So they’re all at a school for wizards, but only Harry has magical powers? It must be difficult for Ron and Hermione to do their homework.

From the page for The Hobbit: “Bilbo Baggins (Male), Hobbit, Fond of the comforts of home; smokes a pipe; reluctantly agrees to go on an adventure with Gandalf; enjoys riddles.” I understand – Bilbo’s smoking habit is so important to the plot.

From the page for A Dance With Dragons: “Daenerys Targaryen (Male), Queen, The last scion of House Targaryen; rules with three dragons; many of her enemies have set out to find her.” Everyone knows male queens make the best rulers.

From the page for The Hunger Games: “Peeta Mellark (Male), Son of the District 12’s baker; Katniss’s partner in the Hunger Games, a televised gladiator type competition; prepared to be a good loser; his trainers want him to pretend to be in love with Katniss.” Buuuurn, Peeta. A good loser?!

5. Thank you for helping me find stuff in the big, scary Adult area. I get lost in there otherwise and books in the Fiction section leap off the shelves and bite me. Books in Nonfiction scream when I open them like in Harry Potter.

Sincerely,

nevillegirl

Advertisements

About nevillegirl

Elizabeth, University of Iowa class of 2019. Double majoring in English & Creative Writing and Journalism. Twenty-year-old daydreamer, introvert, voracious reader, and aspiring writer. Passionate about feminism and lesbian positivity.
This entry was posted in Books and Reading!, Nevillegirl's Adventures!, Non-Neville Posts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

18 Responses to A Letter To The Librarians

  1. matttblack42 says:

    There’s always that one mean-looking librarian in every library. There was once this evil school librarian in second grade who used to yell at me if I took too long choosing a book.

  2. Thomas says:

    What a cute post! I’m glad that your librarians are nice for the most part and that you have a good young adult section at your library. (:

  3. Charley R says:

    Haha, this brought such joy to my day. Also . . . when did Dany have a sex change!?

  4. Amanda says:

    About two months ago when I went to the library, there was this mom and daughter standing near where I was scouring the shelves for books to devour read. I had about 15 and was still looking. Then this girl picks up a book to show her mom, and her mom says “You can’t get another one. You’ll never have time to read more than 2.” My face: *le gasp of horror* HOW WOULD ANYONE SURVIVE ON ONLY….TWO BOOKS?!

    And then there was this time when I went to an information session about volunteering in the library, only to find that if you were under 16 you were not allowed to shelve books, but you instead had to join their silly little “Teen Advisory Board” and tell them what kind of programs for teens they should have at the library and cut paper for preschool crafts. -_- I asked the guy if that was absolutely the rule, and 14 year olds just COULD NOT only shelve books? He looked at me like I was from mars. Not surprising, considering the application asked whether you were a) doing this as court-order community service b) doing this for some scholarship thingy or c) doing it for community service hours in highschool. No option for “I really just love shelving books.” Grr.

    Sorry. 😛 The library is awesome. But sometimes annoying.

    • nevillegirl says:

      I always intend to get just a few books, but then more hurl themselves screaming off of the shelves into my bookbag. So I can’t help it. 🙂

      That makes no sense. Unless, of course, you’re me and although you love words, you still have trouble alphabetizing. I have to sing the alphabet song in my head to find books. *facepalms* So I should probably not shelve anything because I forgot whether T or S comes first.

      • Amanda says:

        Eh. I’ve always loved alphabetizing books…when I was younger, I turned my family’s bookshelves into a “library.” I made a spreadsheet catalog and “library cards” and everything…*coughs* Okay, so I’m really weird.

    • nevillegirl says:

      No, it’s not! I think when my brother was little he did the same thing. 🙂

  5. orphu44 says:

    …why is Harry identified by sex, while Ron and Hermione are identified by gender?

  6. L. Palmer says:

    Those are some amazing character descriptions that completely eradicate what makes those characters interesting.

  7. Pingback: Here and Now, a harry potter fanfic | FanFiction | The Blog That Made No Sense

What do you think? Share the musings from your navel!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s