This past Valentine’s Day, the Good-Sinful Alliance discussed love in the time of evil. Comments were made about the harmfulness that comes from the stereotype of villains as incapable of love or devoted only to their cold-hearted schemes.
Of course, some villains do avoid dating! They prefer purely platonic relationships, filled with only cackling and cuddling. This is perfectly all right.
But what about villains who are lovesick? Our earlier discussion of evil focused on evil ways to earn the love of the object of your affections; now I think it’s time to talk about something completely different. I would like to talk about the perils of dating in the villainous world.
There are, broadly speaking, three types of romantic relationships that a villain may have.
Villain / villain – This one is the most societally acceptable. It is considered completely normal for villains to date other villains of the same rank (more on that just below). A well-known example would be Cersei and Jaime Lannister. They are socially matched – indeed, they are… brother and sister… but I don’t want to think too much about that. Moving on.
Villain / minion – This sort of relationship is a bit awkward, I’ll admit. If you dated an underling, it would doubtless cause a stir. People might accuse you of favoritism because you always trust that particular minion to carry out your most important schemes! But don’t worry – I’m sure many others would just think it’s sweet of you. A famous example is He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and Bellatrix Lestrange.
Villain / enemy – THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING, YOU GUYS. But sometimes it simply can’t be helped! Sometimes you just find yourself drawn to your greatest nemesis. You constantly think about their eyes (that deduce everything), their curly hair, how hot they look in that long coat… I mean, seriously – when theirs is the only mind that has ever equaled yours, how can the two of you not be made for each other? A popular example would be, um… oh, all right, um, Sherlock Holmes and… myself.
Oh, shut up. Yes, I’ve been Sherlocked. Anyway, the examples above should give you an idea of the responses you’ll get once you begin dating as a villain. And remember, before you begin dating anyone, ask yourself this one simple question: are you really committed to this person?
Wouldn’t want to, ahem, fall out of love, now would you?”