Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft, Wizardry, And College

thumbnailCAVRY90Y“I must visit this school of yours. It sounds more like a farce than a school.”

– All Men of Genius by Lev AC Rosen

One time I nearly called one of my college teachers “Professor River Song” because I completely blanked on their name and River was the only professor I could think of. Oh, the perils of being a geek.

But it’s not like that was a regular occurrence. I mean, why would I associate people with Doctor Who characters? Especially when all my college professors have reminded me of various teachers from Harry Potter?

I’m not kidding. This is a thing I do. I don’t know when it started – maybe last summer – but I began thinking that so-and-so would probably be great friends with [insert Hogwarts professor here] and whatnot. It’s fun, and I am nowhere close to running out of Hogwarts professors to “cast” people as, because I haven’t had as many teachers as most students my age have: just my mom, plus six professors.

So, for no reason at all, I thought I’d describe my teachers and why they remind me of certain characters in the magical world of Harry Potter.


I. Rubeus Hagrid

Looking back on it, I could not have asked for a better first professor than the man I will refer to as Mr. K, my Spanish 101 professor. (I’ll refer to everyone by their initials in case I write anything weird about them, which I probably will.) I took his class during the fall semester of 2012 and I wasn’t actually that nervous about attending college as a high school sophomore, but it did help that Mr. K was nice.

Mostly ordinary. Fairly laid-back. Friendly. Helpful. For all these reasons I decided he was most like Hagrid – slightly eccentric (man, he wore weird, psychedelic paisley-print shirts) but decent (I never felt like he would be annoyed if I asked him for help). There isn’t really a lot to say about him.

Except for one thing, one thing that made me giggle and decide that yes, he was definitely Hagrid. One day he did show up to class half an hour late, evidently astonished to see that only about four students (out of a class of twenty), including myself, were there. “Why did everyone leave? Isn’t class always at this time? How long has it been at that other time?!”

Well, I don’t know. Only, like, the whole semester. Anyway, it was exactly the kind of somewhat befuddled thing Hagrid would do.

II. Gilderoy Lockhart

Ms. M, my Spanish 102 professor during the spring semester of 2013, is the only one of my teachers who doesn’t easily fit the personality of one Hogwarts professor. I feel a little rude, proclaiming her to be Lockhart, because she actually was a competent teacher.

But she also had a fondness for stories. Cool stories, stories about growing up in Mexico. I certainly learned a lot about culture that semester, but that wasn’t really what I was there for. She always ended up fitting the new vocabulary at the very end of each lesson because she’d spent too much time off on some tangent.

As I said before, Ms. M wasn’t totally Lockhart. Every so often an entire half-class would pass and she would actually stay on track, teaching us about the subjunctive or whatever. But mostly, I remember a lot of tales about, “how I visited this tiny town in Mexico and learned never to confuse these two Spanish words because when I did it was really, really embarrassing.”

III. Remus Lupin

High praise, indeed. Lupin is my favorite Hogwarts professor – my favorite character in the series and one of my favorites from any book ever – and I’m very lucky to have had a teacher like him. Ms. L (can you tell I’m not basing this teacher-sorting on gender?) taught the English 101 class I attended last summer and it was awesome.

Harry says Lupin was the most competent teacher he ever had and that’s how I feel about Ms. L. She was smart, good at explaining things (good at making us laugh!), et cetera. And when I had questions about college writing programs for when I attend a university full-time, she gave me tons and tons of suggestions and ideas, even though it wasn’t her job or anything. I’m considering some of those colleges now, so that was very helpful. As with Hagrid, there really isn’t a lot to say. She just knew what she was doing.

IV. Minerva McGonagall

Ms. T, my second-favorite professor after Ms. L, taught Chemistry 111 last fall. McGonagall was described as “strict but fair” and that fits Ms. T to a, well, T. (Pun not intended. I swear. I am so sorry about that.) She taught a lot of material each day in class and assigned a lot of homework (at least it felt that way to me!) but she also made sure that we had multiple opportunities to learn the concepts – there were always extra-instruction hours, and she answered lots of questions before and after class.

So basically, she wasn’t nearly as weird as some of my other professors have been, but I would rather have a teacher who taught me a lot than one who is the subject of many amusing stories.

V. Dolores Umbridge

Yeah. Unfortunately, I have had one of those teachers. These next few paragraphs will prove very satisfying to write, won’t they?

Mr. S taught English 102, the other college class I attended last fall. He was – there is no other way to put it – an unpleasant man. Like Umbridge, he was very fond of rules. Turn in an in-class response to a reading from the textbook literally two seconds too late because you remembered at the last second to write your name at the top of it? Too bad. You failed that assignment. Thank goodness it didn’t happen to me, but I felt annoyed anyway. It’s like… dude, you couldn’t even just say, “I’ll accept it this time, but you need to be more diligent next time”?

The other thing was that Mr. S was extremely unhelpful. We spent four or five class sessions reviewing MLA style, even though we all had practice with it from a previous class or something. We barely even looked at APA, which stunk because at least half the class said they had little to no experience with it and we had a huge paper due that had to be formatted in APA style. Oh, and forget about asking him questions after class. I tried several times and it was clear it just irritated him. Whatever. It’s not like I ever have to take another class with him.

VI. Alastor Moody

Currently, I take Chemistry 112, taught by Mr. B. I suppose he is my greatest source of weird college stories to date.

He has a tendency to get really excited about whatever he’s teaching us – oxidation and reduction reactions, organic chemistry, et cetera – and start SHOUTING AT US, YELLING ABOUT THE CONCEPTS BECAUSE HE’S JUST SO EXCITED AND ALSO HE WANTS US TO KNOW THAT THIS SUBJECT IS IMPORTANT! YOU MUST HAVE CONSTANT VIGILANCE OR THIS EQUATION WILL NOT BALANCE PROPERLY!

Oh, and he has a lot of weird stories about how he spilled some chemical on himself whilst in the lab and therefore turned his skin a weird color. This reminds me of Moody’s accidents…


What sort of teachers have you had? Were there any who reminded you of Hogwarts professors? Any who were like Snape or Umbridge?


About nevillegirl

Elizabeth. University of Iowa class of 2019. Triple majoring in English & Creative Writing, Journalism, and Gender, Women's, & Sexuality Studies. Twenty-one-year-old daydreamer, introvert, voracious reader, aspiring writer, and lesbian. Passionate about feminism, mental health, comic books, and cats.
This entry was posted in Books and Reading!, Harry Potter, Homeschooling, Nevillegirl's Adventures!, Non-Neville Posts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft, Wizardry, And College

  1. matttblack42 says:

    I don’t have a lot of teachers I’d compare with a Hogwarts teacher. I almost wish I had an Umbridge-like teacher for me to complain about.

    A fun but slightly off-topic fact: I once had a teacher in eighth grade who literally shouted “EGGGSS” as her laugh. To those who didn’t know about it beforehand (me), it was terrifying, especially since it was really loud and it usually had an echo.

    • nevillegirl says:

      *cracks up* That’s awesome. But slightly terrifying. Maybe your teacher was a Dalek – EGGS-STIR-ME-NATE!

    • nevillegirl says:

      Hem, hem. Such as?

      • matttblack42 says:

        Well, she made the us use a three-ring binder for her class, and then never whole punched any of her papers. This is more evil than anything You-Know-Who has ever done.

    • nevillegirl says:

      That is evil. How dare she.
      (No but seriously, that sucks. There wasn’t even a hole punch in class?)

      • matttblack42 says:

        Not a single one. I ended up carrying a mini one with me for the rest of the year.

        Still she wasn’t nearly as bad as those nuns at Catholic schools back in school. From some of the stories I’ve heard from my parents and teachers, those nuns were truly evil. Maybe not at the doesn’t-have-a-hole-punch level of evil, but evil nonetheless.

      • matttblack42 says:

        Also, I finally got around to reading And Then There Were None.
        I suspect Doctor Armstrong, Emily Brent, and Phillip Lombard the most, though I’m probably completely wrong.

    • nevillegirl says:

      Pffffffppppppp. You’ll never guess.
      (Not that I did either…)

    • nevillegirl says:

      What page are you on, anyway? Or, more relevant – who’s died so far? They should only be up to number five or six or so, am I right?

      • matttblack42 says:

        The last person to die was Justice Wargrave, so it looks like I was wrong about Brent. Only four left, now.

        Here’s my theory so far. The killer has to have somehow known what everyone else had done. Lombard mentioned leaving a bunch of natives for dead, and just before that General MacArthur said he sent the man who cheated on his wife on what was basically a suicide mission. So I think Lombard (not his real name) was the man who cheated on the general’s wife. Also, I think whoever the killer is, he’s actually Hugo in disguise, because Vera has asked herself at least twice now, “Oh Hugo, why do I feel you’re so near to me right now?” And I assume he was related to the woman Dr Armstrong accidentally killed. I have no idea how he’d be connected to Blore though…

        I’m probably going to be embarrassed by this comment once I finish the book.

      • matttblack42 says:

        Just finished the book. *Gives Agatha Christie a round of applause.*

        Now, can we just pretend that last theory of mine never happened?

  2. themagicviolinist says:

    Luckily, all I’ve had are Remus Lupins. 😉 Both of my parents are great at what they do–my mom handles the English/history side of things and my dad does more of the math/science–and I have tons of fun with it.

    Professor River Song. XD I’ve frequently called my friend Jake Jace after reading the Mortal Instruments series.

    • nevillegirl says:

      Haha, I don’t know who my parents are most like. My dad is more like Mr. Weasley than any Hogwarts professor. And my mom… gah. I don’t know. I really don’t know.
      …Slughorn? Dumbledore?

      River would be an awesome teacher. 😀 Imagine field trips in the TARDIS!

  3. Pingback: Ten Past Posts About “Harry Potter” + One About J.K. Rowling | Musings From Neville's Navel

  4. Pingback: None Of My Professors Read My Blog, So I’m Gonna Tell You All About Them | Musings From Neville's Navel

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