Hello, everyone! It’s time for another TCWT post! This month’s prompt is:
“Write a letter to a fictional couple.”
THIS WAS REALLY HARD TO WRITE, OK?! Waaaaay harder than it looked at first sight. Because I wanted to write to sooooo many fictional couples! And I just couldn’t decide! And then I reread the sign-up post and realized that I could write letters to any of the following:
- A fictional couple I love
- A fiction couple I hate
- MULTIPLE FICTIONAL COUPLES
- A character who desperately needs to see that they are passionately in love with [insert person here]
Huh. So, basically I need to actually read things closely because it saves me lots of trouble. Anyway, here are my letters! Enjoy!
Dear Miss Everdeen,
It has come to my attention that you may be finding your current relationship a touch… unsatisfying, if I may say so. You seem to spend a great deal of your time worrying about and caring for and hugging a certain Miss Mason. And need I remind you that “Johanna Mason is oiling up her naked body for another wrestling session, I decide to stay put” is an actual thing you said back in that training center before the Quarter Quell? Hmmm? Ditch lover boy, puh-lease. Marry Johanna and ask Peeta to cater your wedding and design a beautiful wedding cake!
A Joniss fan
Dear Mr. The Frog & Miss Piggy,
Why the hell do I adore a couple that’s made up of a frog and a pig?! Like, that’s just weird. But you two are cute – Kermit (is it OK if I call you Kermit? “Mr. The Frog” feels so formal) and Miss Piggy look adorable all dressed up in a tux and a dress. They say not to throw pearls before swine, but whoever this mysterious “they” is, they clearly don’t know what they’re talking about.
A fan of the Muppets
I would like to congratulate you on acquiring such a fine girlfriend! You two are ADORABLY EVIL together – basically like a malicious power couple? It’s so cute how you trail after her, doing her bidding and helping her to bring about the end of the world. I’m truly sorry if any of this sounds sarcastic, because I really do love your relationship: I wouldn’t have bet any money on you two at the beginning, but you proved yourselves astoundingly endearing. In that hellbent-on-world-domination way.
A fellow American mage
Dear Mrs. Vastra & Mrs. Flint,
All right, first of all, what’s the deal with your names? I can’t figure out how to properly address this letter; did either of you take the other’s name or what? Whatever. Anyway, CAN WE PLEASE KICK CLARA OUT OF THE TARDIS AND REPLACE HER WITH YOU TWO BEING RIDICULOUSLY CUTE AND KICKING BUTT WITH THE DOCTOR? PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
OH MY GOD JUST SHUT UP AND RIP MY HEART OUT WHY DON’T YOU UGHHHHH YOU TWO STOP IT STOP IT RIGHT THIS SECOND YOU’RE JUST TOO CUTE TOGETHER AND THIS AMOUNT OF CUTENESS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL.
A lowly peasant
Dear Miss Carter & Mr. Rogers,
OMG. YOU TWO ARE SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE AND BISEXUAL TOGETHER AND I CANNOT HANDLE THE… CUTENESS. Wow, I really need to think of some words other than “cute,” don’t I? Anyway, you’re perfect together in literally every way and STEVE YOU NINCOMPOOP you probably could’ve landed that plane BUT NOOOOO YOU HAD TO BE A DRAMA QUEEN AND LEAVE POOR AGENT CARTER ALL ALONE WHILE YOU TURNED INTO A FREAKING POPSICLE.
But at the same time, don’t feel too bad about it because she found a cute waitress to date after you were gone so it’s all OK.
OH GOD I’M SUCH A FAN
Hmmm, I’m noticing a pattern here – namely, that I grew steadily more FANGIRLY AND EXCITED AND ALL-CAPS-USING as the letters progressed. Teehee! Which fictional couples would you write letters to, and why?! What would you like to say to the couples I mentioned here?
Want to follow our blog chain? Here are the participating parties, day by day: