Sooooooo, back in June, I wrote a post about the Stonewall Riots as part of my month-long series of Pride posts. Because hey, I’m a history nerd. And Stonewall is the reason we have Pride today!
Also, writing that post gave me a good opportunity to teach people something they maybe didn’t know about before, and to clear up any misconceptions about the riots. Because there are a LOT of them – so many people have no idea that black bisexual trans women were instrumental in both the riots and the modern LGBTQ+ rights movement that followed! There’s a misconception that we owe the creation of this movement to cis white gay guys.
So when I heard that there was to be a movie about Stonewall, I WAS AN EXCITED SMALL NERD. I mean, maybe people would go to this movie and LEARN THINGS. The movie had so much potential.
…potential that seems to have utterly dissolved, unfortunately. UGH I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS MOVIE AND THEN SUDDENLY I WASN’T. Basically, as the movie got closer and closer to its premiere – it was released today – we started hearing all these things that… didn’t sound quite right. Like, the lead was some white gay dude? And people of color were merely his sidekicks? OMG THEY MADE UP SOME BLAND PROTAGONIST AND DIDN’T ACTUALLY TELL THE STORIES OF THE WOMEN WHO WERE INTEGRAL TO THE STONEWALL RIOTS.
….aaaaand now this is the part of the post WHERE I THROW LINKS AT YOU. And you click them, hopefully, because they’re kind of hilarious. In an unfortunate way. Like, this movie is just so screwed up and I’m kind of amazed it was even made?
+ I’ve seen this parody trailer approximately 5329562959625 times and I still giggle every. Freaking. Time. “Jeremy Irvine as a generic gay man. 1 lesbian, maybe 2? People of color as helpful sidekicks.” BRB DYING OF LAUGHTER. I got kind of distracted while writing this post and watched it like six times?
+ #NotMyStonewall is a hashtag on Twitter. Check it out!
+ Autostraddle (AKA one of my favorite websites ever after WordPress.com and ForeverYoungAdult.com) posted a list of the 22 most hilarious excerpts from scathing reviews of Stonewall. OMG I WAS TOTALLY GONNA MAKE A TOP TEN LIST. BUT THEY GOT THERE FIRST. Oh, well. “Stonewall has the opportunity to tell the story of a profound, pivotal moment in the history of gay rights in this country, and it not only fumbles it, it trips over it, then falls off a cliff, then sets itself on fire” made me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. And my favorite? “[Stonewall] slaps you in the face like a sodden cloth, over and over again.” OMG THIS PERSON REVIEWS THINGS LIKE I DO. BLESS THEIR HEART.
+ Autostraddle also interviewed Miss Major, a black trans women who was actually at the Stonewall Riots. My favorite parts are “It’s absolutely absurd – you know, young people today aren’t stupid. They can read the history, they know that this is not the way it happened. These people can’t let it go! Everybody can’t be white!” and “I’m sorry, but the last time I checked, the only gay people I saw hanging around there were across the street cheering. They were not the ones getting slugged or having stones thrown at them. It’s just aggravating. And hurtful! For all the girls who are no longer here who can’t say anything, this movie just acts like they didn’t exist.”
+ BRB FOREVER GIGGLING AT THE 9% APPROVAL RATING ON ROTTENTOMATOES.COM. Soooo, apparently in addition to being historically inaccurate, it’s bland? And slow? And the characters are boring? TBH my favorite review was the one comparing it to a Monty Python skit.
But my FAVORITE thing to share with you? Well, I’ve saved the best (worst?) for last. Honestly, the movie was… well, it was already receiving a lot of criticism, but it was doing more or less OK until a few days ago when the director, Roland Emmerich, said:
“You have to understand one thing: I didn’t make this movie only for gay people, I made it also for straight people,” he said. “I kind of found out, in the testing process, that actually, for straight people, [Danny] is a very easy in. Danny’s very straight-acting. He gets mistreated because of that. [Straight audiences] can feel for him.”
…I mean, where do we even begin? Why would you even do that? And did this guy ever consider that if straight people can’t relate to queer people (unless they blend in), that’s their problem, not ours? I just. What even.
BUT ENOUGH OF MY LITTLE RANT. NOW IT’S YOUR TURN. Have you seen/heard any amusing-yet-exasperating things about the Stonewall movie? (I would ask if anyone has seen the movie, but… god, it seems like a waste of money, and there’s actually a boycott of the film, and also I would hope that all my readers have enough taste to avoid that movie. BAHAHAHA.) Let me know in the comments section below!