Me: I have a lot of free time today so I’m going to be productive!
Me: But what if you weren’t?
Me: What if you spent the evening distracted by cute gay shirts, instead of writing the Long Thinky Post that you planned?
Me: Sounds like a PlanTM.
Me: Also, you should blog about it.
1. “Mean Lesbian” shirt ($22.95 from Zazzle)
I’M JUST? THIS IS THE MOST ME THING I’VE EVER SEEN? I’m always grumpy about
ridiculous straight people something and so clearly I need this shirt. In a cheery yellow, to contrast my grumpy soul. My friends are always like, “No no no, you’re the sweetest, smallest, cutest lesbian and you have never been intimidating in the slightest,” which always makes me grumble. Like, yes, I’m super shy so I tend to be quiet, but I’m always cantankerous. It’s a very fulfilling pastime. GET YOUR HETERNORMATIVITY OFF MY LAWN.
2. “Too Gay For Indiana” shirt ($24.00 from Look Human)
One of my friends has this shirt and I love it so much! We actually became friends because I overheard him talking about what a shitty place Indiana is for LGBTQ+ people, soooo… yay for queer Hoosier solidarity! I’d much rather be here in Iowa where we’re actually somewhat treated like human beings.
3. “Nobody Knows I’m A Lesbian” hoodie ($28.80 from OpenSky)
This is such a cliched shirt, but honestly that just makes me want it even more. I follow a couple of LGBTQ+ Facebook pages that promote stuff like this pretty heavily so I’m always like HEART EYES. (I didn’t follow them for the shirts… I followed them for the memes. As one does.) There are a thousand and one variations on this design, but I really really want a hoodie because god knows I live in them each and every winter.
This is kind of a problem. If I spend all my money on cute gay shirts, how will I have enough money left to buy CUTE GAY BOOKS? #thestruggleisreal