This February, I’m doing #LoveMe, a challenge designed to help you learn to love yourself! One of my New Year’s resolutions was to be kinder and more gentle to myself, so I’m trying to be as positive as I can possibly be in 2017 and hope that doing this challenge will be good for my mental health and overall well-being. Check out my previous #LoveMe posts here!
Today’s prompt is:
A note to the future you.
Dear future me,
How are you?
I hope you’re happy.
I hope that however old you are, you have the life you’ve always dreamed of: The one where you live in a tiny old house with a wife and two cats and a bunch of plants and what most people would consider an excessive amount of books. (Don’t listen to those people. Collect all the vintage lesbian pulp novels your little gay heart desires.)
I hope that you have a job that involves writing, whether it’s editing other people’s books or writing your own or working for a newspaper or a magazine. It would be great if your wife does something creative for a living too, because you’ve always thought it would be cool to collaborate on books and other projects with someone you’re married to.
You’ve known since you were a teenager that you never wanted kids of your own, but since you do like the idea of other people’s kids – in small doses – I hope that you get to interact with them in some fashion, through volunteering or mentoring or whatever. Maybe your brother will have kids sometime between now and when you read this and you’ll be an aunt? That would be fun.
Is your mental health any better? I truly don’t think your anxiety and depression and OCD will ever completely go away, but I hope that you’ve gotten them somewhat under control. That you’re better at managing them. That you find medication that works and that you still see a therapist. (That you can afford to still see a therapist!)
I wonder where you live now. Do you even live in the US anymore? It wouldn’t surprise me at all if you didn’t – but if you still do, then I also wouldn’t be surprised if you stayed in your college town after graduation. Because it’s a wonderful place.
What is the state of the world right now? However it is, I hope everything that happens in it doesn’t give you too much cause to worry because god knows you already worry enough and don’t need anything else to feel anxious about. I hope Trump isn’t the president anymore and that the United States is still a country and that the world is relatively peaceful.
Of course, it’s OK if not all of these things are true. Maybe you haven’t gotten married yet, or your job doesn’t involve writing, or your mental health is still an absolute mess. That’s fine. These things take time. I just want you to be happy. I want you to be as happy as you can be with what you have.
Elizabeth in 2017