It has been raining a lot lately, which isn’t altogether unexpected. After all, April showers bring May flowers, yadda yadda yadda. But it’s been unseasonably chilly, which is unusual. Too many days of cold, damp air, and shoes soaked through from trudging through seemingly endless puddles.
So that’s been somewhat disorienting, especially since we had so many warm, dry days back in, like, February and early March. But it’s easily remedied with blankets, fuzzy socks, sweatpants and hoodies, rainy day playlists, tea, lazing about while watching episodes of anime and Doctor Who.
I don’t know how to fix the disorienting feeling that I’ve had ever since the end of the semester was in sight, though. I had the same feeling this time last year and thought I’d be more equipped to deal with it this time around, but I don’t really think that I do.
It just seems as though everything is happening so quickly. It feels as though it were just spring break. Or January. Or last semester, even – wait, what do you mean it’s not October anymore?
I feel as if the last few months have flown by and it’s hard to believe that finals (and final projects) are already almost here. It’s time for me to begin asking for extensions for the first time in my college career, as a matter of fact: Several of my professors have offered them to the entire class, so I think I’m going to take up at least one on that offer.
(Probably Literary Retelling & Impersonation, not because I’m behind in my work on the final project – I’ve actually made more progress on it than I have for anything in any other class – but because I need to focus on what’s due for other classes a few days earlier.)
I’m learning that it’s OK to ask for extensions if you need them, that it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or a procrastinator but that there is so much going on at once and if you need more time to do a more thorough job that truly shows how much you’ve learned in this course, then by all means ask for it.
Despite any extensions I ask for, I still feel as though I won’t be able to really take a deep breath, clearing the clutter and worries from my brain, until the end of the semester. (And then I fly to Dublin for a study abroad program a few weeks after that. I’m excited, but wish I had a little more time to relax at home before setting off.)
And… I also feel disoriented because my living situation will once again change. I’m not even talking about moving back home for the beginning and end of the summer and living in Ireland for the middle of it. Instead I’m thinking all the way ahead to next semester. Not only will I be living in a brand-new dorm (twelfth-/top-floor! river view! ahhh yes!), but I’ll have a new roommate as well.
It’s disorienting to think that my time with my current roommate, hallmates, and RA is drawing to a close. It feels like an eternity ago that I moved into this dorm, and soon enough I’ll move out of it. I thought having done this last school year and last summer would have made me used to this, but I’m not. I don’t handle change very well. Plus, I’m a nostalgic person and I have to admit to frequently wishing that I had more time before [insert time or activity here] ends.
All this has put me in a very weird mood lately. Not a bad mood, that’s for sure. Just… some kind of mood. Truth be told, it’s made it a little difficult to focus when I should be revising my stories for workshop or researching judicial decisions about free speech law for an end-of-semester essay. I’ll get through it, of course. I’ve just been ruminating on this stuff lately and thought writing it down might help me to begin sorting it all out. I think it has.
P.S. Today is Independent Bookstore Day! How are you celebrating? I’m planning to drag my roommate down the street to visit my favorite bookshop to pet the store’s cats and buy some books. 90% chance of rain be damned, there’s no way I won’t show my love for books.