Local College Student Parodies Fairy Tales | Lifestyle Section + Missing Person Notices

Hi all! Thought I’d share more of the writing portfolio I created for the end-of-course assessment in my Literary Retelling & Impersonation class! Today’s snippets include missing person notices, as well as articles from my make-believe newspaper’s lifestyle section. Ahhhhh these were so much fun to brainstorm and then write!

Enjoy!

INAUGURAL FOOD FESTIVAL GREATLY ANTICIPATED

This town’s first ever culinary festival, organized by the Fairytaleville Chamber of Commerce will be held next Thursday evening in the park to the north of Prince Ferdinand’s palace. The event will feature restaurants and shops from across Fairytaleville.

Princess Priscilla, a vendor at the festival, said the event will be a treat for the town’s taste buds while at the same time drawing people together in the first outdoor gathering of the spring. Priscilla is Prince Ferdinand’s little sister and proprietor/chef of the popular new restaurant The Princess & The Pea Soup.

Hansel and Gretel, owners of the newly-opened health food shop Forest Foods, expressed confidence that the festival will attract more customers to their enterprise. “We wanted to provide this community with nutritious yet tasty meals and treats,” said Gretel. “All of us, but especially kids, eat way too much junk these days. We get it, we were kids once too. But it’s just not healthy to eat like that. So we wanted Fairytaleville residents to have more and better options to consider when feeding their families.”

Other vendors will include Peter Rabbit’s Soup & Salad To Go, The Breakfast Place owned by the Three Bears and managed by Goldilocks, and Jack’s Bean & Seed Company, LLC.

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MISSING PERSON NOTICE

Name: Arthur “Wolf” Shepherd

Missing from: Fairy Forest Preserve, Fairytaleville, IA

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Black

Skin color: Brown

Age: 13

Height: 5’0”

Weight: 95 lbs

Gender: Male

Last seen: 4/19/17

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EMPEROR TAKES A NUDE STROLL DOWN FASHION SHOW CATWALK

Emperor Stephen shocked Fairytaleville residents Tuesday night when he appeared on the catwalk at his latest fashion show without a stitch of clothing on. The emperor-turned designer, whose high-end concepts for daily, formal, evening, and bridal wear have attracted the attention of not only Fairytaleville but the world, strutted onto the catwalk following a display of this season’s trendiest sundresses for princesses, exposing his genitalia for all to see. Parents shielded their children’s eyes as gasps were heard throughout the audience.

The emperor was subsequently arrested and booked into the Fairytaleville Jail on a misdemeanor charge of public indecency. He was released six hours later after questioning.

Emperor Stephen could not be reached for comment regarding the incident itself, but did ask if members of the Fairytaleville Herald press would like to know more about the biggest fashion faux pas when it comes to summer bridesmaid dresses. Our reporters graciously declined this offer and thanked him for his time.

-~-

MISSING PERSON NOTICE

Name: Belle

Missing from: 4240 La France Lane, Fairytaleville, IA

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Hazel

Skin color: White

Age: 17

Height: 5’5”

Weight: 130 lbs

Gender: Female

Last seen: 4/22/17

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Want more? You can find a story imagining what happens after the events of the Brothers Grimm version of “Snow White” here!

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About nevillegirl

Elizabeth, University of Iowa class of 2019. Double majoring in English & Creative Writing and Journalism. Twenty-year-old daydreamer, introvert, voracious reader, and aspiring writer. Passionate about feminism and lesbian positivity.
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3 Responses to Local College Student Parodies Fairy Tales | Lifestyle Section + Missing Person Notices

  1. Pingback: Local College Student Parodies Fairy Tales | Dear Fairy Godmother + Sports Column | Musings From Neville's Navel

  2. Heather says:

    XD These are great. I especially like the way you wrote about the food festival—I think in some of those stories I would immediately jump to the sensational headlines (“Cannibal Witch Kidnaps Children—read on for details on their harrowing escape!”) but instead you discussed the “ever-after” bits. And I appreciate that, because it captures a sense of community and everyday living that ends up being enchanting in its own way. 🙂

  3. Pingback: Local College Student Parodies Fairy Tales | Singles Ads | Musings From Neville's Navel

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