Oscar Wilde Is My Gay Dad (& Other Thoughts On The LGBTQ+ Family I Wish I Had)

Visiting the Oscar Wilde statue in Merrion Square Park on June 9

Sometimes I refer to Oscar Wilde as my gay dad. Actually, I say that an awful lot – say that someone is my mom/dad/grandma/et cetera when everyone knows they aren’t – now that I think about it. Like, I tag my friends in pictures of Laverne Cox with comments like “WOWOWOW I LOVE MY MOM SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL.”

I was talking about this with my online friend Norah the other day, and it spiraled into a whole discussion about how I should make a Gay Family Tree™. Well, I actually think I’ll save that project for a rainy day because I don’t have the patience to carefully draw it all out, but I thought it would be sort of goofy fun to come up with a list of LGBTQ+ folks I’d love to have as my relatives.

Naturally, let’s begin with Oscar Wilde. I mean, in some ways he definitely isn’t the type of person whose life you’d want to emulate since he died at such a young age, sick and penniless. But while he was alive? He lived life to the fullest. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said I want to be the modern-day female version of Oscar: Just as bitingly funny, and just as gay. (And maybe just as stylish, too, someday? We shall have to see.)

While we’re at it, let’s throw Freddie Mercury into the mix as well, because I am apparently set on building the most talented gay family ever. And since including Oscar Wilde proves that I will not be stopped by simple facts such as people being deceased, there’s no reason I can’t add Freddie Mercury. I DO WHAT I WANT.

Laverne Cox would be a great mom, I think. She’s just so… level-headed? Every time I read or watch one of her interviews, she seems very kind, practical, down-to-earth. Calm. I’m an anxious and scatter-brained person, so I really appreciate those who are like, “hey, I know the situation LGBTQ+ are in right now is scary, but we can’t let that get in the way of fighting for our rights and living our lives to the fullest.”

Ivan Coyote, too, seems like the sort of calm, reasonable parent I need. Plus, they write ALL OF THE THINGS??? #goals

Can’t forget Alison Bechdel! Gosh, all these people are just so talented. Guess I have a lot to live up to.

Aaaand now for grandparents. I would DIE for the chance to meet Ian McKellen, seriously. I love him in every movie I’ve seen him in and would love to sit and listen to stories about what it was like to grow up gay in the forties and fifties.

I feel like I should include Elton John here as well? Because I grew up adoring his music, and because we have approximately the same dress sense – which is to say very colorful, very gay, and very outlandish. We can’t all be as stylish as Oscar Wilde, after all. Some of us spent years in the closet and STILL don’t know how to dress well.

Last but not least, EDIE WINDSOR. She was the lead plaintiff of United States v. Windsor, the Supreme Court case that overturned the Defense of Marriage Act in 2013. I’M SO PROUD OF HER AND I WISH I COULD CALL HER MY GRANDMA.

What about siblings? There are a bunch of bright, talented young people I wish I could call my brothers and sisters: Hayley Kiyoko and Troye Sivan and Shura as older siblings, Amandla Stenberg and Jazz Jennings as younger ones. I’ve always been curious about what it would be like to have sisters, or an elder brother instead of a younger one.

You may have noticed that I haven’t said a word about cousins, aunts, and uncles. That’s because I can’t think of anyone I’d love to have fill those roles more than the adults I know in Iowa City, particularly the ones in my LGBTQ+ writing group.

I mean, I’m technically an adult now and have been for the past few years – as weird as that thought is to me – but I mean Real Adults™. You know, older than twenty-five or so, not just young college students playing at being adults. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH! It’s honestly so inspiring to see them all living out their lives, being their true selves and trying to find happiness. I obviously haven’t seen them in a while since I’m not spending the summer in Iowa City, so I miss them all, like, A LOT.

Who would you include in your dream LGBTQ+ family?

About nevillegirl

Elizabeth. University of Iowa class of 2019. Triple majoring in English & Creative Writing, Journalism, and Gender, Women's, & Sexuality Studies. Twenty-one-year-old daydreamer, introvert, voracious reader, aspiring writer, and lesbian. Passionate about feminism, mental health, comic books, and cats.
This entry was posted in LGBTQ+, Nevillegirl's Adventures!, Non-Neville Posts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Oscar Wilde Is My Gay Dad (& Other Thoughts On The LGBTQ+ Family I Wish I Had)

  1. orphu44 says:

    Ivan Coyote actually came and did a reading where I live, pretty much *right before* I knew who Ivan Coyote was (which means I didn’t go to it, unfortunately).
    And if you ever draw out your honorary LGBTQ family tree, I want to see it!
    (Also I appreciate your Oscar Wilde pose.)

  2. Oscar Wilde was damn cool, even if I only know it from his writing (I actually didn’t know he died a sad death like that 😦 his are THE ONLY plays I’ll read though. And that says a lot!)
    And of course, who wouldn’t want Freddie 🙂

  3. Evi says:

    THIS IS SO CUTE. Also, that photo of you with the Oscar Wilde statue, omg. That’s a meme pose.

  4. Pingback: Quarterly Rewind, Spring 2017 | Poetry, Hozier, & “King Lear” | Musings From Neville's Navel

  5. Pingback: #SaveTheClassics | Musings From Neville's Navel

What do you think? Share the musings from your navel!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.