When Will My Life Begin?

Sometimes it feels as though all I do is wait for my life to begin. It can be hard to accept that I don’t have to wait. I can start anytime. I can try new things whenever I want. This is my life, right here, right now, and focusing on when and where and how I’m going to start “really” living hurts more than it helps.

I seem to spend way too much time either:

DWELLING ON THE PAST

  • What went wrong?
  • Why can’t I recapture that utterly perfect moment? 

or

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

  • How will I be able to get all this done?
  • How can I make those moments perfect?

when what I should be doing is focusing on the moment before me.

Slowly, I’m learning + practicing how to be more present in my own life. Keep dreaming, but without getting lost in the clouds.

Sometimes I feel as if the present moment almost doesn’t “count” because I’m so focused on other times in my life, on things that have already happened or have yet to happen, that I’m not really paying attention to the moment in time I currently inhabit.

Other times, I’m so focused on trying to appreciate the present moment that I end up overthinking everything and stressing about whether I’m feeling present enough. I struggle mightily when it comes to letting myself just be. My thoughts spiral in on themselves and I feel as though the moment is about to collapse, will fall apart any time now.

About nevillegirl

Elizabeth. University of Iowa class of 2019. Triple majoring in English & Creative Writing, Journalism, and Gender, Women's, & Sexuality Studies. Twenty-one-year-old daydreamer, introvert, voracious reader, aspiring writer, and lesbian. Passionate about feminism, mental health, comic books, and cats.
This entry was posted in Nevillegirl's Adventures!, Non-Neville Posts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to When Will My Life Begin?

  1. Shanti says:

    I totally relate to this. I think that remembering where your coming ffrom and where you could go is important but it’s also good not to get too wrapped up in that, which I suck at.

  2. This is so good! You’re right. The worst thing we can do is wait for life to happen, when actually, life is waiting for US to make the most of it. ❤

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