Guest Post For This Page Intentionally Left Blank

This post, titled The Rights of Wrong, was published on Liam’s blog, This Page Intentionally Left Blank, on September 19, 2012. Enjoy!

The author of our four thousandth comment was Nevillegirl, who is a person obsessed with Harry Potter and other fandoms, as you’ll soon see.  Here is her guest post.  Just remember, it’s all in fun– no need to take this seriously.

To Whom It May Concern,

It has come to our attention that evil people are underappreciated.

After much careful observation of your world, which some of our party insist on calling ‘Muggle’, we have come to the conclusion that its inhabitants love to talk about minority rights. We obtained this information by examining your media. This proved to be quite difficult, requiring us to first kidnap Arthur Weasley and then torture him to extract all the information he knew about how to operate a television. (Our telly experts from Panem were unavailable at this time, having been ordered to explore the Internet.)

Once both tasks were accomplished, we spent hour upon hour in patient study of the media, interrupted only once, by a simultaneous lightsaber and wand malfunction in two of our party. Suffice it to say that they will never store their weapons in their back pockets any longer.

At any rate, we quickly noticed how much blathering goes on about rights. We have had enough of this, for we have noticed a glaring absence in all your talk of equality!

There is never any talk of evil rights.  Where, we ask, are rights for evil people? No one is so spurned, so downtrodden, as we are.

People cross to the other side of the street when they see us. We are not allowed to practice our favorite activities for fear of being thrown in prison. We face losing our jobs if we are outed as card-carrying members of B.U.T.T., or Bad Users of Terrible Things. We are denied an unbiased coverage in your media, always portrayed as horrible people.

We ask only to be treated with respect.

Furthermore, you are not only hurting us; you are also hurting children! Small boys and girls who aspire to be dictators or murderers have their hopes crushed when they see how, year after infernal year, evildoers continue to be prosecuted. How else can these children discover their true calling? Imagine, if you will, what a terrible loss it would have been if a small boy named Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr. had not found role models.

The world was not always such a cruel place for the evil. If it had been, we would not be here. How different the world would be. We demand that you give us back our rights and allow us to exercise our liberties!

We beseech you to consider our proposition. Do it for the children.

Sincerely,

Lord Voldemort

Darth Vader

Sauron

Count Dracula

The White Witch

Khan Noonien Singh

Coriolanus Snow, President of Panem

S.M.I.L.E. (Sith Members In Love with Evil)

The Volturi

The Joker

Miss Trunchbull

C.A.T.O. (Career tributes And The Others)

Kronos

Frankenstein’s monster

Dr. Moreau

The Master

D.E.A.T.H. (Death Eaters Against Torture Hatred)

IT

The Erasers

The Borg

Galbatorix

Cluny the Scourge

The Big Bad Wolf

Opal Koboi

Long John Silver

And evil overlords everywhere.

This post is very special to me – it marked the start of the Good-Sinful Alliance!

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2 Responses to Guest Post For This Page Intentionally Left Blank

  1. Rose says:

    OH. MY. GOD. THIS IS PURE PERFECTION.

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