This February, I’m doing #LoveMe, a challenge designed to help you learn to love yourself! One of my New Year’s resolutions was to be kinder and more gentle to myself, so I’m trying to be as positive as I can possibly be in 2017 and hope that doing this challenge will be good for my mental health and overall well-being. Check out my previous #LoveMe posts here!
Today’s prompt is:
Share a flaw.
My flaw is that I don’t take my mental health into account when making plans for the future!
Basically, I love setting goals and having plans and making lists… all things that I’m sure you know if you’ve been reading my blog for a while. I love dreaming up something to do and then working hard to achieve that outcome.
The only problem is that sometimes – most of the time, in fact – my goals are unrealistic and I end up not achieving them after all. Which is INCREDIBLY frustrating.
I want to do everything, be everything. I don’t really do things by halves? The way I see it, if I can’t wildly succeed at each and every thing I do, I may as well not do anything. That’s not a healthy way of thinking, I know: As soon as my productivity begins to slip and I’m not wildly succeeding, I hit rock bottom and lie in bed for hours or even days feeling depressed.
But when that hazy melancholy of depression lifts (or at least seems to)? For a moment I can do everything and be everything. And that’s when I make all my plans.
And so I set goals that would be challenging for even a neurotypical person to accomplish… and then get frustrated with myself when I don’t achieve those goals. I’m left wondering why I’m “ALWAYS such a failure at EVERYTHING,” as my brain so helpfully likes to remind me at those times.
What I need to remember is that I don’t have a neurotypical brain. That doesn’t mean I should stop making plans. Plans are good! Make all the plans! I do need to be careful to make goals and set goals that are actually realistic, however.
Whether it means taking on fewer responsibilities at a time or giving myself a longer timeframe during which to work towards a particular aim, I know something needs to change. And soon. Because I can’t take this much longer, this overburdening myself with seemingly every possible task I can think of.
Goals are good. But being gentle with yourself when trying to achieve them is good, too. I need to learn that being hard on myself – mentally berating myself for not being 100% perfect 100% of the time – does no favors. The only way I’m going to learn is through practice and so I want to focus on setting fewer goals. Or smaller goals. Or reaching out for help when I need it.
What is your single greatest flaw? What, if anything, have you done in order to cope with it?